


No Homo

by nekobazu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Nightclub, Teasing, University AU, bokuto's a shithead, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-16 15:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2275308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekobazu/pseuds/nekobazu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the middle of Fresher's week, Kuroo encounters a plaything who's more interested in playing with <em>him.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	No Homo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kitsune-rin](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kitsune-rin).



> Written for the prompt "Meeting at a party while drunk," Kuroo/Bokuto requested by kitsune-rin.
> 
> I was _so_ tired when I wrote this, and I can only apologise.

Kuroo surveyed the crowd from the mezzanine balcony, nodding his approval. He was having a good night.

It would be over-generous to call it a _great_ night – he’d been expecting Fresher’s Week to be more wild than it had been so far – but the drink was flowing, the music was pumping, and the crowd on the dancefloor were energetic, lending a fun atmosphere to the nightclub. It was a good night.

Draining the last of his drink and setting the plastic pint ‘glass’ it had been served in down on a nearby table, Kuroo made his way to the stairs and joined the thronging masses below. The floor was busy but not quite crowded yet, and he had no trouble picking his way through to a prime spot, dancing where he could see the majority of the crowd and perhaps pick someone to try his luck with. He wasn’t looking to get laid, but a little dancefloor intimacy never failed to liven the evening up.

It took barely ten seconds for him to find someone – or rather, for someone to find him. The sudden smack on his rear caught him off guard, but he managed to turn his slight jump in reaction into a reciprocative action instead, backing up against the hand and reaching round with his own, grasping at his admirer’s thigh.

Well now – _someone_ worked out. The leg was firm and lean, and as his hand wandered and cupped a cheek, he couldn’t help a hum of approval. Pert, tight and _strong._ Undoubtedly an athletic type, Kuroo concluded.

Feeling a hand pull at his shoulder, Kuroo turned round to lay eyes on the young lady who-

Young man.

Huh.

Kuroo blinked in surprise at the youth stood before him, a smug grin on his face as he draped his arms loosely round Kuroo’s neck, forming a distant embrace. “Thanks for the fondling and everything, man, but no homo,” he quipped as his grin grew wider, raising his voice to be heard over the music.

Kuroo rolled his eyes, jabbing a finger into the stranger’s chest with a quirked eyebrow. “And that was a heterosexual butt-smack, right?”

“Totally.”

“Whatever.”

“Bokuto, by the way,” the stranger offered by way of introduction.

“Kuroo.”

“Wanna get a drink?”

This time, it was Kuroo’s turn to smirk a little. “A totally heterosexual beer, right?”

“Of course!”

* * *

“-but by then, this squirrel was _pissed._ I swear to god, the little fucker had murder in his eyes!”

Kuroo was 95% certain Bokuto’s story was bullshit, but oh god he couldn’t remember the last he’d laughed so hard at an anecdote. His sides ached, he had tears in his eyes, and he was only barely able to breathe. He was glad they’d found a spare booth to sit in away from the dancefloor, or he’d have long lost the ability to remain upright.

“So the old lady’s _still_ trying to pick her stuff up, her dog’s tangled its lead all around her legs, and this little furry cannonball just takes off, straight for the pair of them – and oh god, her scream! She just… _NYEEEAAARRGHH!”_

Kuroo didn’t know if it was the noise Bokuto made, or the face he pulled as he screamed, or the alcohol or a combination of all three, but he finally broke. A fresh bellow erupted from him, and he found himself unable to reply, to gesticulate, even to _breathe_ as the laughter took over, eventually winding up propped against Bokuto’s shoulder, crying and gasping silently as he tried to compose himself.

“No fucking way,” he finally managed, giggles still making his shoulders shake as he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “No way did that happen.”

“ _Totally_ happened.”

“Not in a million years.”

“I’m telling you,” Bokuto insisted, draping an arm round Kuroo’s shoulders and pointing insistently (albeit at nothing) with his other hand to emphasise his point. “As sure as you wanna suck my dick tonight, that actually happened.”

“Bullshit. There’s no- what?”

It took a moment for Kuroo to register what Bokuto had said, and he sat up in surprise. “Sure as I what?”

“Oh come on,” Bokuto stated with a smirk, turning to face Kuroo in the booth and propping his elbow on the backrest. “Let’s be honest here, what are the important things anyone looks for? Number one, gotta be someone who makes you laugh – we’ve settled that. Number two, gotta be someone you’ve got stuff in common with – we both play volleyball, we both like beer, we're both on the same course in the same university and we both find it fucking hilarious when old women fall flat on their faces.”

Kuroo snorted again at that, but didn’t offer any further agreement to the young man’s theory.

“And number three, however shallow it is, is that it’s gotta be someone you find hot – and let’s face it, we’re hands-down the two hottest people in this room.”

The taller youth raised an eyebrow questioningly. “And that makes you certain I want you?”

With a smirk, Bokuto eased out of his seat and climbed across Kuroo’s lap, settling with a knee either side of Kuroo’s hips and his arms once again draped around the dark-haired youth’s neck. “Am I wrong?”

It might have been the alcohol. It might have been the atmosphere. It might have been the look Bokuto was giving him, calcuating and sultry and darkened eyes. Or it might have been that the bastard had a valid point. But right then, in that moment, Kuroo could indeed suddenly envision him and Bokuto in a darkened room together, limbs tangling and clothes missing and breaths catching and-

“Ohoho!” Bokuto chuckled smugly, glancing down in an exaggerated fashion. “I’m not wrong, am I?”

Kuroo’s eyes narrowed a little at the youth’s triumph, and he reached up to snake a hand round the back of Bokuto’s neck, burying his fingers in strands of silvered hair and pulling him down. “Shut up and kiss me.”

Bokuto allowed himself to be led, resisting briefly as he touched his forehead to Kuroo’s. “One thing though,” he murmured, a smile still playing on his lips.

They were close enough now that Kuroo could almost taste Bokuto, their breaths intermingling and their lips dangerously close to one another, and he felt a small surge of frustration at the delay. “What?” he growled.

“No homo, remember?”

Kuroo sat in stunned silence for a moment, before Bokuto pulled away with the biggest shit-eating grin he’d ever seen. Kuroo was split on whether he should be pissed about the trick that had been played on him, but part of him had to concede that it was funny. Later on, months down the line when he was drinking with this fucker (he was a keeper, that much Kuroo knew), he’d probably laugh his arse off at it. For now, though?

“…you’re a dick.”

Bokuto laughed uproariously at that response. “That’d be why you want me so bad,” he teased.

“Fuck off.”

Bokuto laughed again, before climbing off his new-found friend. “If it’s any consolation…”

The silver-haired youth reached for his drink and knocked a couple of mouthfuls back before leaning in conspiratorially, his usual energetic expression replaced with something bordering on slyness. “If you turn around and look in the next five minutes, I’m gonna punch you in the kidneys, but there’s a blonde cutie sat in the corner behind you who’s had his eye on you the whole night. I mean he’s hardly stopped staring since you came down the stairs.”

Instinctively, Kuroo began to turn to look, but was stopped by a warning nudge just beside his spine.

“Kidneeeeys!” Bokuto sing-songed, reminding Kuroo of his threat. “You can’t miss him though – dyed blonde hair, his roots are showing, he’ll avoid eye contact and he’s definitely here alone. Perhaps he’d like a little company…”

Standing and stretching lackadaisically, Bokuto picked his drink up and downed the remnants with a satisfied gasp. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a party to go and liven up.”

Kuroo regarded him with some amusement. “So your mission tonight was to hook me up with someone?”

Bokuto chuckled at that. “Oh no – that just happened to fall my way. I’m just here for entertainment.” At this, he tipped Kuroo a flirty wink. “Thanks for providing it.”

As Kuroo deadpanned at him, Bokuto laughed one more time. “See you in class, fucker!”

The dark-haired youth stared at the silver mess of hair as it disappeared in the crowd, Bokuto’s hoots of delight somehow still audible even over the music. You could say whatever else you like about him, but Kuroo definitely couldn’t call him anything other than interesting.

And speaking of interesting things…

Despite the warning, Kuroo snuck a casual glance over his shoulder, somewhat amused as – true to Bokuto’s word – the blonde in the corner quite deliberately ducked his head and nervously avoided eye contact. He was plainly shy, but just as he’d been promised, he was cute.

It could still be a great night.


End file.
